Crucial Confrontations

Crucial Confrontations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler is by far the most refreshing and informative read as a follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations (2002). When I read this book  clear memories of the Cape Flats, the area I grew up in, constantly protrude and reflect suburban-bliss -- filled with the fashionable prevalence of domestic violence, crime, poverty, unemployment and divorce.

As a business leader ruthlessly seeks the bottom-line, Crucial Confrontations similarly provides simple techniques with practical tools for every individual to seek solutions on how to handle situations of conflict. Crucial Confrontations teaches the human-being how to deal with violated expectations in a manner that solves the problem --  problems that animals have mastered without theoretical and analytical training. In other words, the book aids in resolving concerns that encompass personal relationships as well as decrementing workplace disputes. The authors impeccably explain that a crucial confrontation consists of a face-to-face accountability discussion – where someone has disappointed you and you talk to him or her directly. When handled, the problem is resolved and the relationships benefit.

I reiterate Crucial Confrontations – Tools for Talking about Violated Expectations and Broken Promises is a book that truly encourages individuals. The authors underwent 10 000 hours of real-life observations, they’ve endured 20 years of research with the assistance of 25 000 individuals to identify those who are most influential during crucial confrontations. The aforementioned exercise was all in honour of particularly living up to our commitments, strengthening relationships and making deadlines. With problems and unforeseen circumstances that harm our families and cripple our businesses, Crucial Confrontations guides us confidently and purposefully. Some writers design the lay-out of the text within motivational books like mixed spices and herbs in a chicken tikka-masala you would find at a fast-food take-away. The authors of Crucial Confrontations on the other hand carefully sculpt their masterpiece in a step-by-step dialogue that contains the ingredients of an absolute splendid cuisine. Even though the book seems long-winded, the authors utilise a profound hypothesis to convey successful outcomes of achievements in relation to various effective performances and scenarios that avoid conflict. Yes, I definitely would recommend CC as an integral and constant reference guide to self-assess and measure your confrontational skills.

The power of attitude, language and conversation cannot be overestimated. Crucial Confrontation ‘compassionately’ lectures the power of accountability, assessment and the implementation or execution, for the lack of a good word. The book points out that all of us face crucial confrontations sometime during our lives. Confrontations with clear expectations. Confrontations that we sometimes do not live up to - and cause disappointment. Legal representatives call these incidents breaches of contract. “At work we’re likely to dub them as missed commitments; with a friend, broken promises; and with a teenager, violations of common courtesy.” I would like to highlight one of the chapters entitled “Yeah-Buts” or “Yes-Buts” contextually in the vocabulary we’re familiar with. This chapter gives an example of when we for instance say: “Yes, but I work with a person who is constantly making mistakes”.  As a solution, Crucial Confrontations re-affirms that we need to get to know people under less strained circumstances. Proven circumstances in which we find the best satisfaction via a controlled supervision and frequency of interaction. Crucial Confrontations goes beyond our conceptual solutions and moreover provides simple techniques against bad behaviour that both employers and employees can use. We are so overwhelmingly focused on our culture of arrogance that most of our conversations do little to open our minds or change the perceptions about constructive confrontation. For the building of a sustainable learning-culture, the blocks provided by the Crucial Confrontations-Lego is a must have. Even world-renowned actors such as Woody Allen will find solace in reading this book. Woody has uttered statements like: “One of my problems is that I internalise everything, I can’t express anger, I grow a tumour instead.” Furthermore this well-researched manuscript concurrently helps us to control our emotions and stabilise our blood pressure whilst supplying us with a gripping rush of adrenalin. CC very insightfully steers us gradually in a direction that leads from pressure to praise.

The writers word and relay the truth so well: “At the heart of our twisted view of how to motivate others lies an accumulation of outdated methods and tortured thoughts, one piled upon another. We come to believe that good leaders propel people by blending two parts of charisma, one part of chutzpah, and a healthy dash of fear into a perfect motivational cocktail. And we’re wrong.”

Crucial Confrontations is easy to read – and includes informative personal growth exercises as well as a full reference breakdown for those who are interested in reading more about the topics of the controversial control of emotion and complexities at work and at home.

Yes, they’ve done it again. Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler.

About the Authors

Kerry has consulted with hundreds of Fortune 500 companies using award-winning training programmes to teach development and maintenance of organisations. Joseph has 20+ years experience coaching thousands of corporate and government leaders around the world in the art of communication. Ron cofounded and was the vice-president of research and development at Covey Leadership Centre. Al is currently on the faculty at the Executive Development Centre at the University of Michigan. Together these authors have founded VitalSmarts and have trained more than 500 000 people worldwide… Kindly visit: www.vitalsmarts.com

The compelling book, Crucial Confrontations, has delivered practical and proven tools to timeously enhance organisational success and effectively improve individual performance. I would highly recommend Crucial Confrontations as a mouthpiece of how to handle confrontations precisely and correctly.  Articulately described in one word, BRILLIANT!

Rudolph G. W. Balie